The therapy world has a big problem; we often don’t get to help the people who desperately need it. Why? Shame stops them from walking through the door.
Debilitating shame is all too real and can lead to depression, addiction, and even suicide. If you feel suffocated by shame, don’t give up hope. Here are some creative techniques to transform the feeling. Shame lies to you; don’t believe it’s hype.
Expressive writing for shame.
In their book 'Opening Up by Writing It Down,' Pennebaker and Smyth look at the scientific history of expressive writing; the consensus shows that when you feel stuck, write it down. Set aside twenty minutes a day to explore your shame.
Here’s how to start:
Do your best to relax; remember, we are not interested in spelling, structure, or grammar.
Do your best to stay focused on shame, not secondary feelings, as you write.
Describe the emotions connected to shame as opposed to describing events.
Describe any benefits of shame. For example, describe how shame keeps you safe.
Explore how shame may affect your decision-making and limit your choices and life.
Remember not to bully yourself. Be curious, not judgemental.
Finish by listing your strengths.
Journaling for shame.
Journaling is the practice of keeping a record of your thoughts, feelings, and insights with words, doodles, and pictures on paper or a device. Journaling has the secondary benefit of helping you overcome rumination and can improve your overall mental health. If you find it difficult to get started, below are some questions you can write down in your journal. Try to explore one question at the end of each day.
Tips:
Finish this exercise each day by listing three things you are grateful for.
Stick to journaling on shame; your mind will try to avoid getting to the heart of the matter, so try not to stray too much.
Try word association. Write “SHAME” and then a series of words that spring to mind; the collection may surprise you.
Creative writing for shame.
Can you imagine your life without shame? What would you do? Where would you go? What would you feel? Try writing a short story about the shame-free you. For Keith, in the article, 'Are you living with hidden shame?' this would look like going on his dream date, which would then lead to a happy marriage. Your shame-free life may feel out of reach, but creative writing will give you options you never thought about before. Consider how you feel about the future after writing. Again, don't worry about style or structure. You have the right to write any way you want.
Impulse art-making for shame.
Impulsive art-making is a spontaneous process similar to stream-of-consciousness writing. The art created is not for other people but for you. Impulse art can help you gain a deeper insight into your shame through the process of creating from the instincts arising from the emotion itself. Experiment with the following.
Firstly, find a space where you can create as messily as your body needs.
Recall a time when you felt shame.
Use your materials (paint, charcoal, pastels) in an instinctual way; feel your shame and let it guide your body to make shapes on paper or canvas.
Let your shame speak through your movement; let it communicate and flow.
When the shame abates, stop and stand back. What do you see? How do you feel?
Write down anything you discover about your shame process, but try to withhold any criticism of the art made. Impulse art helps you feel your instinctual impulses around specific emotions; it is not for making “good” art.
Alchemical art-making
Jung’s concept of alchemy can be used in art-making to gain a deeper understanding of our shame as it stands now and how it can transform in the future.
Firstly, gather the tools and materials you want to use.
Decide to see yourself as the Alchemist archetype. Close your eyes; feel how that feels.
Mix your paints or materials to deepen the feeling of being the one who transforms emotional states. Notice how the materials react, change, and merge.
Now close your eyes and enter a meditative state by turning your attention inwards.
Ask your shame to show itself in a form, shape, colour, or symbol.
Now open your eyes and try to replicate or represent the form, shape, colour, or symbol with your tools and materials.
Stay connected to your body; feel how your body reacts to creating.
When you feel the art is complete, stand back and see how you feel.
Don’t judge the creation; let it be whatever emerges. Its aesthetic value is not the purpose. The purpose is to make the subconscious process conscious.
Journal down anything you discover about your shame process.
Experiment with Parts Art Making
Parts and ego-states therapy are similar therapeutic approaches that promote the concept that individuals have more than one autonomous self within the psyche, different “parts” that think, feel, and act for themselves. Often the parts are in conflict, and resolving this inner conflict can create inner harmony. Try the following:
Section your paper into three parts.
Get into a meditative state.
Ask your shameful part to make itself known to you.
Ask the shameful part to draw a picture, word, or mark in the first box.
Thank the shameful part and then ask it to draw how it would like to feel instead.
Thank the shameful part and then ask it to draw what it needs to feel differently in situations when it normally feels shame.
Photography walks
Going outdoors when feeling bad about yourself can be a challenge; if this is you, start at home. Whether indoors or out, you are on a mission to find a metaphorical image that represents your feelings of shame. Take as many photos as you need.
Tips
Consider how you could edit or use filters on your photos to go deeper into how you feel. Play around; what feels closest?
Experiment with the angle of your camera/phone; does it change the shame to position yourself higher or lower?
Rule no creative impulse out. What would happen if you filmed your scene rather than keeping your shame depiction static? Why not try it out?
I hope you find these creative strategies to help you transform your shame into something purposeful. Feel welcome to email me your creations; I would love to see them.
Happy creating,
Alexandra
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